blackout is a thing on tumblr for black people's rights

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I remember the first time I ever swore in front of my mom and her slamming my bedroom door afterward.

I remember when Claire walked up to me in the lunch line and I was nervous and shaky and she asked me how i'd been and I told her about my eating disorder and it was the first time anybody had talked to me at school for 2 weeks.

I remember the lion house with my mama and my cousin spitting on me and wanting to choke somebody for the first time ever.

I remember how he said that he was gonna be ok and I believed it.

I remember when I walked into my sixth grade classroom on January 21st and nobody knew it was my birthday and how I was scared of lunchtime because I always ate and played alone.

I remember how I was really confused on the fourth of July, 2015 with all those fireworks and how I couldn't hear you but you said]I was your best friend and the love of your life and I almost knocked the ring box out of your hand and under the stairs at Smith's ballpark.
and crying happy tears while i sat in tour lap in my car afterward.

I remember how afraid I was.
I remember how happy I was.
and how hopeful with a heart full of goodness I was

I remember when you loved me, too.

I remember all the adults who have stood by my life and laughed.

I remember needing someone to show me some kindness.

I remember when I asked how come nobody asked why I've had straight f's on my report card since I was 11.

I remember becoming my own best friend.
and learning how to sing.
I remember when a room full said I was a good little actress, and the roses and my strawberry flavored dinner and hug that night.

I remember how I have always loved everybody.
and how I wished I had touched more hands.

I'm remembering a lot lately.

They wouldn't change me for the world.

Ella Erson

Dear Ella Erson,

I've liked your hair since the first day of school. I think I can tell that you have a really sweet spirit.
I have not ever talked to you, but a few weeks ago while reading your blog I had a huge realization (Which will sound silly & maybe make me sound simple) I realized that people are more intrinsically involved with one another than they think. Sometimes I might be living a life quite similar to a girl i'm too shy to talk to, and I never tell her I like her shirt with flowers on it because I think we must be so different. But Ella, we are not.

I read and read and tried to understand you, and how you feel. The more I read I began to connect, and I liked the things you have written.
And then, I read the one that I am assuming is about your mama. The one about how she is sick and things are so hard for you.

My mama has been bed ridden since I was about 3 years old because she has Interstitial Cystitis.

I know all about what it's like to worry about your mama, and have to grow up real quick and start doing things that a wife would normally do around the house.

I know the pressure and the sorrow.

And these are just assumptions I have made because of reading your blog.

I just think you are special. You are beautiful and I'm here to congratulate you for going on and running the race that is life.

You're a good lady.

and I like your hair.

and I have something to give you in class.

-Arionna Cherry Day

What could be more embarrassing than this?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GmJZJg6jEuQ

names that never matter

The most beautiful boy you've ever seen might call you baby kitty

Your dad calls you squeedlebug
the neighbor boy calls you Onna
and that man who met you at Chevron still thinks your name is Sarah

Names can be cover ups
safety nets, sweetness, softness, blankets, curtains

Cherry is the girl for a real broken boy

and mama says you are her indigo princess and she always knew what she'd name you

you are gonna get called a friend
and a love
 a pal, a cousin, a girlfriend, a wife, an aunt, a grandma, a doctor, a brat

but all you are is your real name
the one your mama called you long before your heart went splat

So Arionna, Cherry-Pie, Miss Meridian,

Everybody: Don't you let anybody make you feel inferior for who you are.
Dont you hide

I won't love you any less.

Hearts

I'm the queen of kindness
of beauty
 of feathers

I'm the love of softness
of promises
forevers

The Cadillac that brings me to school and the sadness that takes me home
I dream of dish-water haired princes, waiting for me by my throne

A heart so intricate
with spider webbed stick

I wish to warm and imply my nursey ways
As dull toothed little cherubs entice me with the day

a heart of water
a heart of milk
a heart of smiles
of nymph-toed guilt

Blue Softness

My desert dream
Blue fifties king
Cold and hardened cash
Latchkey kids
and skeptiscism
All the things that do entwine
Softness and sweetness
And messes to clean
Feathers in gifts
 and bleach in my tub
Kisses my head. I love you, bub.