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I remember the first time I ever swore in front of my mom and her slamming my bedroom door afterward.

I remember when Claire walked up to me in the lunch line and I was nervous and shaky and she asked me how i'd been and I told her about my eating disorder and it was the first time anybody had talked to me at school for 2 weeks.

I remember the lion house with my mama and my cousin spitting on me and wanting to choke somebody for the first time ever.

I remember how he said that he was gonna be ok and I believed it.

I remember when I walked into my sixth grade classroom on January 21st and nobody knew it was my birthday and how I was scared of lunchtime because I always ate and played alone.

I remember how I was really confused on the fourth of July, 2015 with all those fireworks and how I couldn't hear you but you said]I was your best friend and the love of your life and I almost knocked the ring box out of your hand and under the stairs at Smith's ballpark.
and crying happy tears while i sat in tour lap in my car afterward.

I remember how afraid I was.
I remember how happy I was.
and how hopeful with a heart full of goodness I was

I remember when you loved me, too.

I remember all the adults who have stood by my life and laughed.

I remember needing someone to show me some kindness.

I remember when I asked how come nobody asked why I've had straight f's on my report card since I was 11.

I remember becoming my own best friend.
and learning how to sing.
I remember when a room full said I was a good little actress, and the roses and my strawberry flavored dinner and hug that night.

I remember how I have always loved everybody.
and how I wished I had touched more hands.

I'm remembering a lot lately.

They wouldn't change me for the world.